I was really frustrated at how slowly the water drained out of our bathroom sink. We were living in Covina, California in a rented house. The bathroom was frustrating enough without adding drainage problems. It was decorated quite hideously. Garish purple, gold and pink wallpaper and paint. Horrid shag rug floor covering. The landlord said we could redo it, but we just didn’t have the time or the money. Now we were getting a clogged drain to add to the frustration.
The place I worked at the time had all different kinds of cleaning supplies and chemicals. One of our items was a super-duper drain cleaner. It came in a heavy plastic bottle with a heavy-duty, childproof lid. The entire bottle came in a heavy, sealed plastic bag. Also inside the plastic bag was a pair of disposable rubber gloves. There were skull and crossbones and warnings all over the bottle and the outer plastic bag. This was good stuff. I brought a bottle home to see if it would do its magic.
The directions on the bottle said to carefully pour ¼ cup of acid into the drain, followed by a cup of cold water. Let sit for 15 minutes, then run cold water down the drain for 5 minutes. I figured if ¼ cup was good, the whole 32-ounce bottle would be GREAT!! I’d show that drain a thing or two.
I poured in the contents of the bottle and followed it up with some cold water. I went out of the bathroom and shut the door so the caustic smell wouldn’t upset the cats.
About a half-hour later I remembered the drain! I went back to the bathroom and opened the door. Our bathroom had transformed into Hell. The paint on the ceiling was dripping in sheets to the floor. Most of the wallpaper was sliding off the wall. Great big pieces of wallpaper were hanging all around the room. There was a 3” diameter hole in the rug and right on through the wood floor, in front of the vanity. As I looked in the vanity, under the sink, I could see that the trap was eroded away and there was a trail of destruction where the acid had eaten through the plumbing and dripped onto the floor in front of the vanity.. The carpet around the 3” hole in the floor was still dissolving and dripping down into the crawlspace under the house. The smell was awful.
I closed the door. I waited a few seconds to see if anything would change. Surely this was some kind of ‘60’s drug flashback. I didn’t use any drugs in the ‘60’s, but if I actually had, maybe I would think I hadn’t and this could actually be a flashback and I just didn’t remember taking the drugs. Drugs can really mess a person up. When I opened the door again, it was still the same Hell. At least I was comforted by the fact that I hadn’t taken drugs and forgotten. The bathroom, however, was still like a bad acid trip.
The next thought that came to me was, “I have to show this to Karen when she gets home from work.” Not only was the bathroom now ruined, my marriage was next. When she arrived I greeted her with a big smile and a hug. I overshot the mark with the hug: it was too much. She knew immediately that something was wrong. I spent the next few minutes trying to convince her that all was well in Covina. She could see right through me. So, I took her to the bathroom and asked her not to be mad at me. When she opened the door, she got a little hysterical. I thought she was crying. She was actually laughing. At me. I had screwed up again and I was going to take a lot of heat for a long time.
We decided that we really did have the time and the money necessary for redecorating the bathroom after all. We actually had enough time and money to replace the wood flooring, the plumbing, the vanity, the floor covering, and the wall covering.
I’m not allowed to use drain cleaner anymore.
